Last night I decided that I really needed to get away, since my planed relax and recharge trip got canceled, because my mother, in her stubbornness refused to listen and followed her own healing strategy, that near got her killed.  So she is in Hospital.

 

(Damn I know someone else that also don’t listen and damn near got himself killed, sigh.)

 

At least I have the common sense to know that you can’t drink certain medication together.  I rarely get more than a sniffle as I keep my spiritual and Emotional body in balance and cared for so that they DON’T affect my Physical as much.  After taking all this time to heal myself by healing my emotional body, I am not planning on letting myself go down that road again.  It took me a while to find that balance, and in the last 5 year I think I suffered 3 colds that lasted more than 4 days.

 

Normally at the slightest flutter of her heart I have to drive her to the Doctor all hours of the night, because she is dying.   This time she was really sick so she kept popping pill after pill, without eating.  When I got home she was burning up with fever, but NO she would not phone for help as she and my brother had a fight.  So she was sulking.  As I got there she could barely stand.  So, she collapsed and I caught her in time.

 

Thing is her spirit body left, and as I placed her on the floor, I grabbed hold of that and pushed her back in her body.  Stabilizing her energy, but I could not get her to wake up.  So I focused on her ethereal body and made her get back in her body.  After the 2^nd shock went through her bodies she suddenly came back.  I really looked strange, as you look at her body and see her spirit body at the same time, then suddenly they click back and you only see one person.  Well if I was not used to such crap, I might have run screaming.

 

She started repeating the exact same words she said before that happened; I had to shake her to get her back to full positive.  My tone was very harsh, as I was not only speaking in body, but in soul as well.  Hell I really was not being nice, but it snapped her back to consciousness.  When something happen like that or an accident I react, very assertive, I don’t go all weak kneed and useless.  Act first panic later.

 

I am NOT insensitive to her plight, but she does, the heart flutter and I am dying, thing way to often, especially when you oppose her.  She would DEMAND that you do something NOW, then if you don’t drop everything immediately, she sulks and later I have to take her to the Doctor as she is dying.

 

Don’t get me wrong I love her and because of how she raised me, I am a very independent person.  I can even service my own car, fix my radio, and use power tools.  Though I still avoid a grinder, my small one is fine, but the large and mid size ones, I rather leave be as their vibrations affect me badly.  There is not much that stops me from doing things I want to do, if I set my mind to it.  If and when I set my mind to it, and if I do NOT want to do something, not much will MAKE me.

 

But I mean really! she is very close to 60 and I am 37 and not a kid anymore.  I only moved back home since my brother got married and we decided that they should NOT live alone, clearly that is a wise decision, and I lost all I had after my Divorce.  So I did not really mind, it suited me.  It still does.  Well enough of my dysfunctional family that I love very much, no matter how stupid they get, sometimes.  Sigh.  Some days I wonder who the parent is and who the child.

 

Also through this past two weeks I had to listen to my guardians reminding me that I have a very large responsibility.  That I am needed, I can’t NOT be charged and rearing to go.  I have to buck up and take the blows like I always have.  I am not allowed to get tired, since the work is important.  Grrr!

 

Elron kicked me and said I should stop acting stupid. Sensei gave me a beating with his staff, and said I should stop acting stupid, when I asked him why Elron called me Anuden, and what it had to do with the green amulet.  So now I DO remember what it is about.  I did not NEED a beating as the damn key word would have been enough.  Then again stubbornness runs in my family, on both the spiritual and the physical planes.

 

On the sites near everything I said was upside down, making near everyone act unlike themselves. Even those I care for.  In the end it just started draining my little reserves to the point that I wanted to really take a stick to someone, anyone.  I was way past irritated and frustrated.

 

In the past I would have gone hunting or provoked a fight.  This time however, I just decided, it is NOT worth the effort.  So, since reading all that was said, I realized who needs to be visited…  I also had to find another way to get my Physical body to power up faster, so this does not happen again, as it happen every 6 to 8 months.

 

At that point last night I was rather FED UP so I decided I am really NOT in the mood to hear the words Love and Light at all.  At this point it will make me PUKE, THROW UP, TOSS MY COOKIES, it really would.  As most people have NO clue as to what the hell they mean when they use those words.  Love/destruction – light /dark is the same f****** thing! It is only spelled different!  For me there IS NO difference!  So stop telling me that I am coming from Ego.  I am coming from destruction and chaos, EGO is something way different!

 

So, I entered the Lower planes the dark ones where all the BAD cooties are, that all the light and love would die of or have a heart attack about.  Yes I went to visit the “Devil” of the bible.  The biggest evil ever!   He has many names, but I know him as Seth-tan, or Sethy as I fondly call him.

 

YES, I LOVE the DEVIL TOO!  He is also a person, and he does not have COOTIES, though you have to have your mind about you if you do visit him, or you are in trouble.

 

As I entered his home, it was really beautiful.  The gardens, the butterflies, little bunny rabbits, hopping about.  If you did not know this was “HELL” then you would think yourself in heaven.  The dark realms are not all Fire and Brimstone!  Wake up and smell the cooties, all of us have those cooties inside us.

 

I saw the first dark soul dressed in a red robe with a black tattoo on his face.  I know him well; Sethy’s guardian and servant, Sorval.  He bowed, “Welcome Anush, Seth is at the bathes.  He is expecting you.”  His smile is sneaky.

 

I frown “Yes I know he is expecting me, I got his damn message.”

 

Sorval: “Well the only way he can get your attention is by using others, as you ignore him.”

 

I sigh: “What is his problem?  I am not in the mood for his games.”

 

Sorval: “He has something of yours, and he want to return it, because he does not want to risk you coming for it, as he know that it is exactly what you will do.  By the way I hoped you left Tentor home?”

 

I looked confused: “Tentor?” Then it hit me.  Well it made me laugh, really hard for the first time in 3 weeks.  I really laughed from deep inside, it felt so good to release that tension.

 

Sorval was clearly upset: “It is NO laughing matter; you of all people SHOULD remember that.”

 

I was still stuttering and trying to regain some measure of control, but one look at his upset face had me laughing again.  Tears were running and I seriously could not regain any control for the next 10 min.  I had to sit down on a bench.  In my mind the whole scene came back like a movie clip, the reason Tentor and I am so greatly feared.  Poor Sethy, the all powerful force of “evil” is scared shitless by a pink fluffy monster, a weakness he find embarrassing.

 

Soval was getting even more upset and angry: “Anush, you should not laugh like that, it is your fault and you know that. That day you beat Seth to a bloody pulp with your pink fluffy monster toy, nearly killing him, it scarred him for life.  He was in intensive care for a week.  If Dracus, Falamis and Sensei did not stop you by force, he would have been dead and not here today.  It is NO laughing matter dammit!”

 

I regained some measure of control: “Soval they should have let me finish the job then, but he has a purpose, so I am not allowed to kill him.  Not even now!  But it does not prevent me from harassing and torturing him for my own pleasure.  He asked for that, and he got just what he asked for.  And by the way I was 13 and he was 28.  It is f****** embarrassing that a 13 year old slip of a girl, beat up a very strong force of dark, that she was not suppose to be able to do, with a pink fluffy monster toy.  He was warned NOT to make me angry many times, and yet he pushed it way to far that day.”

 

Soval was fuming now and I was enjoying this immensely: “Dammit, ANUSH even at 13 you had the power to f*** up a PLANET! And you did!  It is no joke; you had NO control back then!”

 

I was laughing again “Oh, Soval, he is alive is he not, and he is still alive.  I also do have control now.”

 

Soval: “You do, but when you are tired like this, you are dangerous.  But luckily you are not allowed to kill me and Seth.” 

 

I smiled sneakily: “Yes I am not allowed to kill the 2 of you, BUT, I can still play with you and torture you when it pleases me.  As I have said before, rather the enemy you do know than a new upstart!  That is the only reason the 2 of you are still here.  I know you two very well, so the arrangement suits me for now.”

 

Soval was red in the face now: “Fuckoff ANUSH! Some days I wonder who is the most evil us or you.  Some days you can make all evil blush, in shame of the dark you carry!”

 

I laughed: “No friend, I just know how to use my tools very well.  Eons of practice, being the implement of torture to all things dark.  As you, I also have my purpose.  Being neutral and neither light nor Dark, allow me to be anything I choose to be.  Either sides friend or worst nightmare.”

 

I turned away from the fuming and very angry Soval and walked down the garden path in the direction of the bathes, my laughter echoing through the halls.  Damn I love getting them upset.

 

At the bathes, Sethy shuddered, and sank deeper into the mud bath. I found him there looking rather apprehensive.

 

I chuckled.  “Well you called, what’s your problem!”

 

I made myself comfortable on one of the deep and soft wicker chairs.  What reassured Sethy was that I was NOT wearing armor.  I was dressed in a very light slip dress, with spaghetti straps, that for me it is a very RARE indulgence.  It was clear I was not there to fight.  Though that can change in the wink of an eye.

 

He started to look more confidant, as Tentor was also nowhere to be seen, not that I need Tentor to beat Sethy up.  The damn idiot really is still scared of a Stupid pink fluffy monster toy.  I smiled and chuckled.

 

Me: “For someone that is supposed to be the “Devil” many people fear; you really are a rather large whimpering fool.”

 

Seth was angry instantly: “F*** of ANUSH!” He hissed and I saw his eyes, change black.

 

“Nice, now I might get a satisfying conversation!” I thought.

 

“What is this important that you could not just send me a message orb?”  I asked frowning.

 

Sethy: “What’s the matter Little Avi, did I make all them little people hurt your feelings.”  He said pouting.  Sarcasm dripping off his words like honey.

 

I smiled: “No, it just annoyed me even more.  What do you want?”

 

He got out of the mud bath, it looked funny and it caused me to snicker.  “You still are so damn bothered with your looks.   I have never seen anyone take so much pleasure in their own appearance.”

 

Sethy smiled sneakily and gave me a very good view, since he was not wearing anything, as he stood under a waterfall rinsing the mud from him, he got very suggestive: “Come now, does this beauty not give you any ideas?  Does this not look better than that battle scared body of the hunky Zann?”

 

No emotion showed on my face as it really did not affect me.  I laughed: “I will admit beauty is as beauty go.  You really pull of the perfect proportions and all that, but no, I really prefer that hunky battle scarred body.  Thank you very much.”

 

Sethy cursed and wrapped an Egyptian type robe around him.  “Aryan was right, you are an Ice Queen.  You even resisted Archangel Gabriel, I do not know HOW you passed that test, as I would definitely love to ruffle his pretty feathers.  In fact I would love to do the same to you…”  He smiled lustily.

 

I threw back my head and laughed so hard that my stomach hurt. “You dear Sethy, will die with that wish in your heart like Aryan did.  Come now stop playing your little games and get to the point.”

 

Sethy sighed: “You are always in such a hurry.  Fine, I was asked to keep this for you, I also know that you need it, and as soon as you remember it, this damn thing would start calling to you.  You will come and rearrange my pretty face, or worse (he shuddered) till I give it to you.  I would really love to keep this pretty face and not reconstruct is AGAIN.”

 

He walked over to a shorter pillar, touched it and a compartment opened.  From the pillar a very bright light shone.  Where I sat I felt the mystery object vibrate.  Sethy was not looking well, as the object was not having a very great effect on him.  So he stepped away, from it.  “There, take the damn thing, its vibrations is affecting everything.”

 

I stood up and looked into the compartment.  Inside was a silver Rose.  It was glowing rather brightly.  I felt the power in that rose.  So I reached in and picked it up.  It felt like a real Rose, but it clearly was not.  A Silver Rose is a powerful symbol for me, and I felt the power of this Silver Rose.  I felt my soul react to it.  Mmm.. I will look into this.

 

I went back to my chair and placed the rose on the table next to me.  “Thank you, now there is another matter we need to discuss.”

 

Sethy frowned folded his arms and took a rather loud “Hell NO” stance: “It made me smile as this means that he would oppose me.  Nice what I wanted.”

 

I leaned back in the chair: “The last Quake in Japan was 7,4 this week.  There are many that died.  I was not personally there to supervise the collection of the souls of those that died.  Some got stolen by your vultures.  I want them back, now!”

 

Sethy smiled: “No, I stole them fair and square!  If your minions are to slow I can take what I want. So NO I will keep these.”

 

I smiled the chess game is getting interesting: “Ok, so you believe this was fair to STEAL them.  You can give them back the easy way or we can play this game.  Your choice!”

 

Sethy smile lustily and I got exactly where he was heading, and smiled: “Well I have something you want, and you have something I would like to explore…”

 

I threw back my head and really laughed: “I don’t think you can hold on to them, all I have to do is call the souls, they will return, no matter what you do.  Then again if I do that here, the souls of your minions will also come.”

 

Sethy smiled: “You are bluffing, as you would not ask me to give them back if you are able to.”

 

I lifted an eyebrow: “Really, should we test that, or should I rearrange your pretty face again.”  There was a very sneaky smile on my lips.

 

Sethy know me well enough to realize I never bluff.  He started squirming.  I opened my hand and a shadowy picture of Tentor shimmered there like a heat wave.

 

Sethy started pacing and cursing “You NEVER play fair, dammit!”

 

I smiled: “Neither do you, Sethy darling, neither do you!”

 

He stopped and glared at me, “One day I will find your weakness and I will have a field day with it.”  He opened his hand and a dark orb appeared in his right hand. He tossed it to me “Fine you win, I just healed from our last “discussion” I want to look pretty for a bit.  So take your stupid little souls and f*** of.”

 

I smiled as I caught the orb.  He turned away and started to walk away.

 

“Hold on there for a minute, there is 9 not here”, in 2 strides I was in front of him, stone faced.  “GIVE THEM BACK!”

 

“There is NO MORE!  You can’t possibly know there are some not there.” He hissed and glared at me and it became a staring competition.

 

“I DO, know! GIVE THEM BACK or ELSE….!” I hissed back.

 

“You F****** little B****, I hate you bitterly, I really do!” and he handed me another black orb.

 

I reached up and patted his cheek! “Well said friend well said.”

 

Then I turned walked to chair, picked up the Rose, and opened a portal.  Before I went through it I blew him a kiss, making him curse even more!

 

I was laughing and as the portal closed my laughter echoed in his garden, making him scream in frustration.

 

Exiting the portal back in my garden, I found Sensei and Archangel Gabriel talking together.

 

When I saw him, I could not help it, I started laughing again, and I mean really laugh.  Everyone looked at me rather surprised.  When I finally got some measure of control, I made a chair and sat down. 

 

Elron placed a hand on my brow, frowning. “Avi, are you sick or something?”

 

“No…” I stuttered “I’m fine.  Can you please get me some Sentir Tea.  I think I need it to cleanse the Sethy effect from my system.”

 

Elron “Clearly you enjoyed your visit.”

 

I sputtered “Yes, I actually did.”

 

Sensei and Gabriel came over and I made them chairs, the Fairy Queen came and joined us, and one of the other fairies served them with Honey wine.

 

Sensei: “What in the world was this funny?”

 

I smiled again, “Oh it really is nice visiting with dear old Sethy.  He was really fantastic today.  Though I don’t think Gabriel would have enjoyed it.”

 

Gabriel frowned, “What does this have to do with me?”

 

The rest was also confused; I accepted the tea from Ellie, sipped a few times before setting it on the table next to me.

 

“Well, he tried to seduce me, and when I resisted said Aryan was right I am an Ice Queen, I even resisted Gabriel, in that test.  He wanted to know how I was able to do that as he would definitely love to ruffle Gabriel’s pretty feathers.” I started laughing and all the others also did, but poor Gabriel looked highly disgusted!”

 

He started stuttering “But… wha… NOOOO that is just SICK!”

 

I leaned over and patted his arm, “Don’t worry so much Gabriel you know what Sethy is like…”

 

Gabriel started laughing: “You know, I think it is time to have a little chat with our friend.  I have not done that in a long time.  I guess it is time!”  He started laughing again “Do you know how repulsive that is, him ruffling my feathers.  Heaven help us all!”

 

All of us laughed about it long and hard.

 

Sensei looked at me: “The visit did you good, child, you are more relaxed and your energy is rising very fast.”

 

I sighed “Yes, I do feel better, though Sethy gave me this.  If I remember correctly this is the Ancient Rose of Tentali, the planet where I made that amulet and my snakes.  Ellie will you please get them for me, I think merging them will give me the amulet I need to help prevent me from getting this tired.”

 

Sensei smiled softly, “See beating you with my staff did knock those memories free.”

 

I frowned “I would have remembered, you did not have to hit me that hard you know.”

 

He smiled, “Yes I did.”

 

I sighed and took the objects from Elron and place them on the table.

 

“Now I will rest, and then I will make that new amulet.”  I sighed.

 

We spend a while talking together, and I eventually fell asleep at 5am this morning.

 

I guess the DARK cooties were just what I needed.

 

Good old Sethy, I can always count on him to cheer me up.

 

It seems I need to spend more time with Zann.  Sethy will always tempt you with stuff that you need to work on and the seducing bit is rather clear that Zann and I need to spend more time working on our relationship.  We both work too hard, and we neglect to really sit down and just talk.  Zann always want to speak of the future, after ascension, but I can’t bring myself to plan a future, since I never have.  It upset Zann very much at times.

 

I have lived in the moment surviving each day, I find planning a future rather stupid.  As in my life NOTHING happen as I have planned it, it never does.  So why set yourself up for heart ache.  Some days I do let my mind wonder over the possibilities of a future, but I dismiss them fast, they just cause yearning, yearning for things makes you miserable.

 

If we can actually pull ascension off, I would plan a future with Zann, but until then, we will live each day, as it comes.