Trust issues blocking connecting with spiritual community
My name is GG...im new here. I found this site while searching for info about shilajit and my profile was accepted today.
Ill try to keep this brief.
I really really like this community, I like the energy, I like the art, the layout, the sense of community, and Im really excited to learn as much as I can about the topics that are being discussed, but it may take me some time to come out of my shell, and theres a reason for that.
6 years ago, I ran into some peddlers of low vibrational occult "power", about a month after my 20th birthday. back then i was gullible and niave, and I chose to believe that these people were telling me the truth and had my best interests in mind. This turned out to not be the case at all, and I spent 6 years trying to break out of their influence. The experience of being trapped in their vampiric influence was extremely traumatic, and it took immense personal strength and the sacrifice of many loved ones to get me to a safe and grounded place in life. also...I could not have done it without ayahuasca, which was a large part of what healed me and brought me into alignment with communities like this.
So my question deals with trust. I recognize that this is my own issue and its entirely my responsibility to work through it. that being said, I feel that being here I have a chance to genuinely start healing myself and come to an understanding of what healing is...but its like this broken record is playing in my head: "occultists are dangerous. occultists are dangerous. stay away from the occult cause bad things will happen etc".
at this point Ive done enough research ....to know that this is basically my reptillian brain using fight or flight to keep me "safe," but in this case, "safe" means not evolving.
So at this point in my life...my primary goal is healing, overcoming my ego, staying grounded, and finding inner peace. I believe that this community can help me with that, but Im still scared to trust anyone because of what happened in the past.
I dont expect a magic answer to fix all my problems...I know these issues are complex, but any advice would be greatly appreciated, especially if it has to do with overcoming negative mental programming, and learning how to recover from psyvamp magick.
Like I said, Im new here...so if im kind of awkward about all this its just cause im used to being isolated.
PS- based on the advice of a local occult group that I respect a lot, Ive decided to get the flouride and bromide out of my system with food grade diatomaceous earth. I also have been studying runes and herbs, as well as keeping up a healthy daily routine, seeing my therapist, and as of today, taking daily doses of Shilajit, which has been great. I also at this point know some Galdr, can do a hammer warding, and the Sphere of Hekas...so I have a lot of good tools to keep me safe...but it still may take me time to be more open.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kishaun on
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Thank you for sharing GG and welcome to the family ~*~
my suggestion, breathe...i know that's basic and automatic though sometimes we forget to do it properly, especially when low frequencies appear to prevail, meaning, when situations in our lives seem unpleasant, unfamiliar or unsafe, we tend to push it away by looking for someone or something to make it better for us. When in fact, what we must remember to do is go within, breathe and acknowledge that we are and always will be everything making us complete and whole.
Fear no longer exist, the power is within to create what we want to see manifested in our daily actions (not words). We are courageous, learning more each moment on how to enhance our vibratory frequency (no more waiting on the gods).
Those who have a heart to genuinely show compassion toward others in an effort to contribute to the whole will continue connecting. No pressure, no time restrictions, and no more disconnection. We have the ability to steer ourselves in the direction we wish, it just may take some a little longer to figure out how to go about it. All the information is here NOW so why is it that some are thinking they're stuck, because that's where they choose to be.
There is no doubting because that which you mentioned you fear "Opening up more", is exactly what you've done by posting this in the forum for all to see:)
Be encouraged, we are here with you and only you have the ability to make that into what "YOU" want. Wholeness and Balanced Vibrations to you and your loved ones.
Kishaun
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Permalink Reply by Sevan Bomar on
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Indeed Breath as Kishuan suggested, you do not have to commit anything to the site and the people here just repair yourself with the information and application available. When many people think of "occultist" they do so with the interpretation that only pagan, psychonauts, weird covens and the likes make up the spiritual community and in many cases that is true, however, at The Resistance we consider ourselves much more than just being limited to the term occultist we are here to expand beyond any limitation while still using our moral guide in our expansion. In short we are not willing to do anything and everything just for a little power. Simply allow your internal intuition to suggest what you need to do and even if its to leave the internet altogether and head to a country that you can do some healing you will be fine. Always keep in mind you have choice and always have the right to exercise it, if you feel something is not right then log off and go within the location of all Truth's. Other than that we are here assisting and expanding each other Wholeness and welcome to the Resistance. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Tyrone on
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yup, gg you are safe here as in where you are. Remember that before you can truly trust anyone else you must be able to trust yourself. There are some great resources here on how to heal. Some of the most basic ones that have worked for me is reconnecting with nature. So take time to heal with us and the people and environment around you. Let the fear melt slowly, there is no rush, but be firm in your intentions to survive the distractions that would otherwise pull you down so to speak.
take care as always
tyrone
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Permalink Reply by R-MORE on
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G.G. Hi, this is Roxanne. I heard from you once and then you dissappeared on me. If there is anything I can do to help you please contact me, my page is R-MORE or www.restitance.com/profile/RAZZ
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Permalink Reply by Terry Dika on
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Hi , how are you progessing?? I am a PNRT therapist, Progressive Neural Resolution Therapy,,,The sessions take you back to the origin/time of you decision (the subconscious mind), acknowledge and create a new activity for this part of you, freeing the conscious mind to create and run the show! Until this is done this program will run and win!!
This is the most amazing and effective modality I have found,
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