Am I to late
This fear I've had of late
This Fear I've had of late
For fearless' sake
I wrote this amid a time of turmoil in my life. Was broke, doing work I didn't enjoy, just broke up with my girlfriend at the time and to top it off I had just been sentenced to 12 months of living like a caged animal. All I could do was mull over how much I didn't have, how much I'd lost and eventually it lead to having nothing left to lose and finally thoughts of suicide came around. This lasted for period of about 3-4 months and it wasn't until I asked myself "Why the f*** are you thinking this s***?" that I realized what really was going on. I was so in fear of having lost my freedom I lost all my will. It was the realization that fear itself took my freedom, that allowed me to ascend into a state of consciousness where I was able to look down at myself and gain a more complete picture. That picture was essentially that every obstruction in my life boiled down to some sort of fear and that not being afraid to quit, to end it all, was actually a fear of working my ass off to succeed and to face head on every adversity that may befall me.
Now that is not to say that in that instance I become some supper succeeder; it was the beginning of a long, painful, humbling process. These vary words are apart of that process; I'm writing them to prove to myself and whoever may read this, that we should not be afraid of being afraid and that fear is not permanent. The process isnt about absolving fear specifically, its about doing what is in our nature to do. Which is to evolve and prepare to go into the next projection/womb. One of the things you have to do before you get to leave is absolve all fear. Alot of us have been doing this for many many lifetimes and not moving into a more graduated state.
Recently I was given a test and like most tests you receive in this manner, you don't realize its a test while its happening. Now the specifics are somewhat irrelevant but what is important for me to mention is that I came to innerstand fear is not always a paralyzing state and it can take on multiple forms. Hate, jealousy, resentment, stubbornness, contempt, remorse, guilt, complacency, inaction, apathy are all built on fear. Most often one can trace multiple things to the same fear. It will elude you at every chance. It will seem comfortable. And it can be like having your greatest enemy be your greatest protector. But it is not forever and it can be transmuted into something else or absolved all together; it can not however be conquered because that is built on the fear of not being above or better then your fears.
It is said that to reach the other side of the sun you must have no fear. Fear is a dense and slow vibration and is only found in the lower worlds/realms/frequencies/chakras/planes. The reason is that it gets burned up by the sun, its too dense. It is beyond the sun you find the infinite potential you're capable of. If you where truly not afraid you wouldn't be here, look around and observe. Every creature here is operating on fear. Its one of the driving forces of the lower worlds. Its not something that allows us to be capable of reaching higher, its like the sandbags on a hot air balloon.
Many thanks to the resistance community for all the help along the way!
Wholeness and Balanced Vibrations
thank you for sharing this. i am feeling it