how do we solve the problem of a lot of us mothers not knowing how to relate to our children from the evolution of ignorance and mothers not wanting to be mothers and the very idea of having a child being some catastrophe in which you're a prisoner to responsibility and loving another being who came from you.

I myself have always wanted a big family because mine was just not pleasant. I realized I needed to be strong for my children so I thought that strength would come from religion. I was Muslim for about eight years then left that box. now I feel as though I'm floating through this new perspective this awareness that i have ignored all my life seeing a lot of familiar things some things I get and others that couldn't be more confusing.

my children remember me saying never leave Islam and all those things. I was salafi so I went from wearing all black and a niqab to stilettos and such. how do you explain these things to a child. how do we discipline children. I never wanted to give spankings to my children but I have in the past. what is the cure for raising children ignorantly, I have to admit I don't know all the answers. I don't want to lose respect and love from my children because I fail to undrestand what is going on in their bodies and what their needs are and relate to them the way they need me to.

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Your openess and honesty are your greatest assets.  Not too many people can change to a place of empowerment once they have given over their decision making to external sources.  You have started the path within.  The journey challenges everything you have believed in yet you have made the decision and now things are opening up for you in new ways.  Explain this to your children.  They will learn by your example how to be strong from the convictions born in the heart, not from a book, a person or a belief.  You are becoming strong through the connections YOU HAVE MADE to something you can feel even though it may not be known to you consciously.  You are trusting yourself and your children will learn to trust themselves although at first it may not be a smooth road as you learn to develop your heart muscle and allow your beliefs to rearrange themselves according to the new impulse that is surging through you now.  You are helping them walk through a door that has opened up for humanity as we let go of our programming born of separation and see ourselves and each other with new eyes.  You are a needed example for the whole Islamic nation.  Keep treading.  Thank YOU you for answering the call, Audrey.  Keep being humble, honest and true to yourself and the guilt will turn to joy as you look to the future from the decision you have made in love and away from the past in which you learned what not to do.

a higher balance will come in which all lesser thoughts can be composted

love

jan

(smile) thank you so much for the inspiration and encouragement. peace and love to you as well :). Audrey.

Questions I ask the same type of things myself and have some similarities to the transition you are going through now. I don’t believe that there is any set answer for anything regarding parenting but I can share what I am doing that seems to be getting good results most of the time. I don’t believe in boxes anymore so teach my children about absolutes and how they don’t work because things are always changing. They have seen me go from a Sunday school teacher to the person am today. Perhaps 100 years Great ago we would have all been burned at the stake now people just put their distance between us. To explain the change in me I use the world around us. I put documentary’s to reinforce change and that it’s a part of be human. I show documentaries on science and how we went from the absolute of thinking that the world was flat to the Age of Aquarius t or Mayan 2012 count down. Themes we have today. I follow the same trend with history, and nature. It helps with their education and promotes a better relationship between us.  I also get to spent time with them in the name of home schooling time. Most of all helps put gaps in more dysfunctional programing they might receive outside of our home or on the internet. I can say this works so far because my children are learning to like, and be what they are meant to be, whatever that may look like for them. And so far have not sir come to the giant cookie cutter clone machine out there. It’s weird because they actually prefer to spend their time with me. I’m glad there are parents like us

Ps when all else fails with my children I just say I don’t know. I’m lost you tell me LOL

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